


Watch Me

by innocent_until_proven_geeky



Series: Star Wars Prompts [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Asexual Obi-Wan Kenobi, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sex-Repulsed Obi-Wan Kenobi, implied/referenced suicidal ideation, prompted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innocent_until_proven_geeky/pseuds/innocent_until_proven_geeky
Summary: Waxer has never seen his commanding officers fight.  He and Boil are a little fascinated by the only argument they ever watch.
Relationships: Boil & Waxer (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Star Wars Prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690063
Comments: 18
Kudos: 206





	Watch Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lisianpeia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisianpeia/gifts).



> Trigger warnings for implied and referenced suicidal ideation. It's not too bad, I hope, but just to be on the safe side. Please take care of yourself, and if you choose to read and it gets to be too much, don't finish. I won't be offended.
> 
> Love, Ver

Obi-Wan Kenobi never fights with his troopers.

Never.

He is too kind, too gentle for it. The famed Negotiator, a born fighter like every single person he interacts with during the war, but even when his troopers upset him he just sighs, quiet, disappointed, and moves on.

Marshal Commander Cody never argues with his High General.

He does, occasionally, disagree with him--after all, the man is trained in single combat, not battle strategy. He’ll explain why this or that is a bad idea, and Kenobi will nod, and smile, and thank him for his input. They learn together, grow together.

They do not fight.

So why, Waxer wonders, staring wide-eyed at the confrontation in front of him, reaching his hand behind him for Boil, are they fighting now?

Well--no. He knows exactly why they’re fighting. He understands, because he’s afraid of the same things Cody is. He’s afraid of losing those he loves. His _vode_. His best friend. His General.

But Cody has an even deeper reason to be afraid, one Waxer isn't quite sure Kenobi totally understands.

"I can't lose you," Cody says, and his voice is quiet and afraid and just a little deadly. "You have to stop doing this!"

"There are other Jedi," Kenobi replies, and Waxer turns to Boil, whose expression has gone dark.

"You can leave," he murmurs.

"No," Boil says. "Cody might need us."

"Of course there are other Jedi," Cody says, "but I don't want other Jedi. You are our Jedi. My Jedi. Can you at least try to understand that!" It's more like a demand than a question.

"I don't want--" Kenobi stops, sighs, tries again. "I am afraid of losing you and your _vode_ and I will do everything in my power to keep as many of you alive as possible for as long as I live."

"You can't _do that_ if you're dead!" Cody exclaims. "You can't... you can't march on without us. And I know you don't believe in that, not the way we do, but I need you to understand--"

"I do!" And Kenobi's voice is suddenly loud, louder than Waxer thinks he's ever heard it off the battlefield. "I do understand. Do you? Do you understand that I cannot lose you? You are--you are more...." His voice starts to come down, and it starts to shake. "More important," he says. "More important than... than any of this."

Waxer turns to Boil again when Kenobi unclips his lightsaber from his belt. He's seen some things. He knows--he never expected a Jedi, and not... not in front of Cody, never in front of Cody--he knows, though, and he's about to shove Boil away before things get bad, but Boil forces his shoulder back, turns him around.

Kenobi has handed his lightsaber to Cody.

"A Jedi's lightsaber," he begins, and Waxer finds himself straining just a little to hear him now, "is their life. Please, Cody," and he doesn't say Commander, "please. I would rather lose this than lose you. Your _vode_ , too, but you. You, Cody."

Cody chokes. "I'm expendable, General."

Boil's hand stiffens in his, and Waxer wonders when he grabbed it.

“No,” Kenobi says, “you are not, and never were.”

“Please, sir, don’t get my hopes up like that.”

Kenobi smiles softly. "I understand if you--if even though I believe you feel similarly, you don't want this. I am not... I'm not comfortable...."

Waxer wonders if he should leave, usher Boil out since his brother was about as tactful as a B-1 battle droid, but Kenobi seems to know they're there and he holds up his hand to stop them wandering away.

His voice is nearly a whisper now as he explains, "Cody, I love you. I have since I met you, and I know this blasted war makes love difficult, makes every moment people have together all the more intense. Force knows Anakin and Padme do," he adds, probably for Waxer and Boil's benefit. "But I am asexual, and I am sex-repulsed, and I am afraid of you saying no."

Cody barks something out between a laugh and a sob, a sound like relief, but Kenobi's expression falls. "General--sir--Obi-Wan," he says, voice tight and thin, "at what point did you think my love for you was dependent on something as superfluous as sex?"

"As--what?" Kenobi blinks, though his expression lifts a little. "You can still--you won't leave? You can still love me?"

Cody doesn't grin, because he rarely grins, but the fight seems to be over for now, and his expression softens though his eyebrow is still set and determined as he says, "Watch me." He steps forward a little, and says, "This better not be why you're so reckless on the battlefield, sir."

Boil tugs on Waxer's hand and he's actually grinning, a bit of a feat for Boil.

"It's not," Kenobi admits. "I'm sure Anakin can tell you I've been like this for as long as he's known me."

Waxer certainly believes it. "Sir," he cuts in, softly, "we know, but we still need you to take care of yourself. Please stop risking your life like you do. We were--we were bred for this."

Kenobi actually smiles a little, avoiding the clones’ gazes, but it's sad, almost angry. "I know," he says. "Let me--let me alleviate that burden."

Cody steps closer to Kenobi. "Sir?"

"I blame myself," Kenobi explains. "Sometimes, when we lose troopers. I blame myself for not knowing. I blame myself for allowing this to happen--allowing you to be burdened with this. It's not acceptable, not to me, that you are 'expendable'," and he spits out the word like it is poison. "That a warrior's death is the only accomplishment you can dream of, that we can give you?" He's breathing heavily now. He reaches out, grasps Cody's hand, pulls him the few steps closer, looks him directly in the eye, and the clones are a little taller than Kenobi and Waxer feels a smile playing at his lips at the minute difference in height. "So let me protect you," he says, and it's like Waxer and Boil are not in the room. Waxer thinks, again, that perhaps he should leave, that they've stepped in on a private moment.

" _K'oyacyi_ ," Cody says. He reaches one hand out, wraps it around the back of the General's, the nape of his neck, and presses their foreheads together. His other hand, still holding Kenobi's lightsaber, rests on the General's shoulder. "Please."

Boil tugs at Waxer's hand again, and gestures with his head. "Let's get out of here," he mouths.

Waxer nods and follows his brother, his best friend, back to their barracks. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

Boil shrugs, finally releasing Waxer's hand and sitting down on his bunk.

Waxer scrambles up into his. He was never good with upper bunks.

"The General?" Boil asks, trying to confirm.

" _'Lek_."

"He'll be fine." Boil's voice is soft, gentle, like he only is around Waxer and only when they're off the field. "He was being reckless on the field because he didn't care, but he wasn't quite there yet. And now he has a new reason to care. Someone to live for. It helps." His head sticks out around the bottom of Waxer's bunk and he smiles, small. "He'll be okay. And so will I."

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this on a prompt for Lisie, and then I wasn't sure I liked it, so I let her read it and she ended up being my beta and my shoulder angel because here we are, and it is published. Thank you, Lisie!


End file.
